The Intercollective Interconnected Kaboodle & Co
by cricketingaround
Summary: "You'll have a great time!" they said. "You'll make new friends!" they said. "These will be the best years of your life!" they said. On the off-chance that I can survive an entire seven years with these loons and all their gaping, they just might


"Oh, come on now Emma, don't be ridiculous. Would I let you crash into a brick wall? Have I ever mislead you?" was from Aunt Mariana. In all fairness, she had never mislead me, excluding that time at the zoo when I was nine and she told me it would be fine if we snuck into the capybara habitat to pet them (it wasn't). But nevertheless, this was no capybara exhibit. This was a _brick wall _we were talking about! I could smash my face and then be horribly deformed and then never get married and nobody will ever love me and I'll die alone with 93 and a half cats!

With this in mind, I retorted, "But my future is at stake! And so is my face!"

"Dear Lord, Emma! Your face will be fine! Just run through the barrier like your aunt tells you to. We can all go together if you'd like," sighed Dad. That bit about all going together got me.

"No! I can do it myself!" Then I ran through the barrier and didn't smash my face. Thank God. Dad and Mariana followed.

"Ah, good old King's Cross! I remember the days!" cried Mariana. Dad stayed silent. See, Mari was the only witch in the family. She and Dad's family were all muggles (is that what wizards call them?) and she had been the only one to get a Hogwarts letter, which Dad is still bitter about. Then Dad met Mum, who was a witch, and that's how I got my magical blood. See, the trick is that Mum left right after I was born, and Dad raised me as a muggle. Until recently I just thought of Mariana as my oddball aunt who always brought 'round strange plants and liked rodents. Then when I got my Hogwarts letter, she was called in to educated me because Dad didn't know much about magic and that lot.

Meanwhile, while Mari was grinning much too widely and Dad was rolling his eyes, my face was white as a sheet. I was trembling. Literally. All too soon, Mari shouted that it was time to go, and all but shoved me and my trunk onto the train. I wondered how so much cheer could fill one person. That much joy would exhaust me. Either exhaust, or explode. I plopped down in a compartment and stared out the window (still terrified) to see her bouncing on her toes with excitement.

Dad waved halfheartedly, with a tired smile on his face. "Have fun Em! Don't worry, these will be the best years of your life! No need to claw at the windows like that!" screeched the female relative of mine. I sighed and leaned back in my seat. I was halfway to dozing off when a knock sounded at the door, which woke me up from my stupor. "Can I sit here? I can't find another compartment in the immediate area, and I don't want to wander around the train like a loner," stuttered a pale face with huge brown eyes and straight blonde hair. She looked like a cartoon character, and she was clearly terrified, but I doubted I was supposed to know that. As a response to the eccentric looking girl, I nodded.

We sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes until she tried to speak to me. "I like your shoes," she ventured.

"Thanks." I'm not the most conversational of people, as you may be able to tell. We both stared at my orange Converse with the blue and white striped laces for a longer time that was probably acceptable. She tried out words again.

"I'm kind of hungry. I have animal crackers. Do you, er, want any?" This got me talking. Food always does.

"Animal crackers? I love animal crackers! Do you bite the heads off of them first just like I do? Sometimes in my head I make them scream, but you can't tell anyone because they'll think I'm evil or something!" She laughed and nodded.

"Of course I do that! I mean, it's the kindest thing to do if you're going to eat them, anyway. That way, they don't feel the pain of being eaten because their brain is gone. Like, if you eat the limbs first, then it's like torture, but if you eat the head first, it's over fast. So what's your name?" she asked, as she handed me an animal cracker and bit the head off a camel. "Mine's Joanna, but you can call me Jo, like everyone else. Where're you from? Blood status? Not that I care of course, I'm not like that! Just wondering how much you know about Hogwarts and such!" My God, she's like a little blonde Mariana. I hadn't noticed before, probably from her lack of words, but she had an American accent.

"I'm Emma Adelaide, and you can call me Emma or Em or Adelaide or Ad or even Laide I guess, just as long as it's not Addy. I don't really know what blood status is, but my Dad's family is all muggles, except my aunt Mariana, who's just like you by the way. My mum was a witch, but she left right after I was born. I barely know anything about Hogwarts though! Oh, and I'm from Bristol by the way!"

And so there we sat, just talking and laughing and eating animal crackers for the next 35 minutes or so. I told her about Aunt Mari and the capybaras, and in return she told me about her three older brothers, and how she came to be in England. Her parents both went to the American Magic Academy, and then moved to London when she was five so she and her brothers could go to Hogwarts instead of AMA. She told me all about Hogwarts and the houses, and I desperately hoped we would be in the same one, as I doubted my friend-making skills.

We were having a perfectly lovely time when we heard shouting down the hall from the compartment. Oh, joy.

A shrieking voice grew louder and louder, crying, "Oh, really James? Don't be such a bloody idiot! I can get my own compartment if I so choose!" A slightly lower voice mumbled a reply I couldn't make out, and thats when a girl with clouds of ginger hair and a face almost as red rapped furiously at the door to the compartment. I didn't dare leave her standing out there.

She came in and collapsed on a seat. "Rose Weasley," she introduced herself, and as she said the name I saw Jo's eyes grow wider. "Sorry, I need to prove a point to my blithering idiot of a cousin, James. We're good right?" I nodded, bewildered.

"So I'm Emma Adelaide, and call me anything but Addy. That's Joanna, but call her Jo," I said, making more effort to talk to people that usual. Jo nodded numbly. That's about when a boy I assumed was James barged into the compartment, followed by a smaller boy with glasses who looked lots like probably-James, and another boy with coffee colored skin, staying back, but looking amused.

"Oi! You can't just barge into here like that! Plus I thought you _wanted _me out of your compartment! But now I don't even care because I've found this compartment and these people- who I'm _sure _are better than you by the way- and I win!" shrieked Rose, livid. Merlin, she's insane. James looked unimpressed and tried to retort.

"Well I bet they don't even like you anyway! You just came in here and told them your name and that you had to prove a point and said to act like they like you so you could make me look stupid, yeah?"

This was ridiculous. Rose and probably-James screaming at each other, Jo just gaping at the pair of them, the mini probably-James looking terrified, and other nameless kid with James still looking way too satisfied for my taste. Oh, Merlin, what have I gotten myself into?

"STOP!" I screeched. "You," I started, rounding on Rose, "hush! We don't even _know you!" _At this, James looked much too smug, so I turned to him next. "And you, probably-James! Whatever it is, you didn't win! We like Rose so far, okay? Now Jo, stop gaping at them, Merlin knows why you're doing that! Little glasses kid, stop cowering! And whatever your name is in the back over there, stop looking so bloody satisfied! Now would somebody _please _care to explain what is going on here?"

That shut them up.

Probably-James and Rose we gaping, Jo was gaping even more (much to my dismay), little glasses kid continued to cower, and nameless smug boy continued to be nameless and look smug. Damn him. Probably-James spoke first.

"Well, I'm James Potter, I'm in second year. That's my little brother, Albus. He's in first, I swear, even though he looks tiny," he began, pointing to the little bespectacled kid. "That's my cousin Fred Weasley II, in my year," gesturing to Mr. Smuggy McSmuggleton, who now had a real name, "and you've obviously met Rose, my other cousin and also a Weasley. First year." I nodded, taking in the names, and Jo continued to gape, albeit a bit less than before.

"Okay, that's all well and good, and now, what the bloody hell are you all doing?" Rose decided to answer this.

"Well I was having a wonderful time sitting in the compartment with them, reading _Hogwarts, a History, _when James decided to be an arse and take it. (There was a glare at James at this point.) Naturally, I have a fit, and when I finally rescue my lovely book, I have it out at James for being such a... well, for being such a James. Then, I storm out of the compartment after he tells me I could never get any other friends. I find you all, and this happens. Also, I won." My brain chews this. I nod.

"Okay, but for Merlin's sake, why is Jo unable to close her jaw and stop staring!" There's a different answer from every person.

James: Because I'm so fantastically gorgeous.

Jo: Because they're Potters and Weasleys for Merlin's sake!

Rose: Am I really blushing that much? (Then she blushed more.)

Albus: Because I'm adorable!

Fred: Because we're the Potters and Weasleys!

I acknowledge Jo.

"So what does it matter if you're Potters and Weasleys?" I was met with yet more gaping. What is with all the gaping going on around here? Do I like, induce gaping in people? Mari and Dad never seemed to gape so much... Maybe it's only people close to my age. Gosh, this is awful, I can't stand gaping! I'll live a life full of blank stares and open mouths! Ah! My own personal hell! "Am I missing something here? I'm missing something huge, aren't I?" Everyone in the compartment nodded, almost simultaneously. I have a lot to learn.


End file.
